Well knock me down …

A positive beta. A teeny, tiny, barely-positive beta. A beta that the nurse doesn’t sound happy for. A beta that wouldn’t even register on a HPT. Super low. Lower than Barry White with a head cold.

Like I said, knock me down …

My blood test was a Woody Allen-style comedy of errors this morning, but I finally managed it. And when I made the call at 2pm after sitting through the world’s. longest. meeting. receptionist Uber-Bitch told me about the positive.

‘It’s very low. Where are you in your cycle?’

‘… Um … I’m not sure’ (why do I always clam up like a stuttering student on the spot when they ask me that? They must think I’m a moron). Um … (counting on my fingers) day 35?’

She told me Dr D would call me back. And that she did, confirming it was indeed ‘very low’ –  lower than my last beta that ended in an early miscarriage. She’s told me I should start taking my Progesterone pessaries and Astrix again (‘just in case’), and go for another blood test on Monday. I’ll do as I’m told, but at the same time I’ve begun my normal PMS symptoms.

So, a positive beta that will drop and and fade away and that will be that.

BUT

We were on a natural cycle. Mr Bun’s sperm and my egg actually came together and fertilised. NATURALLY. Wow. I mean. Maybe this has happened before? I’ve been a week late for my period maybe four or five times in the past three years. And clearly I’ve never had a blood test to tell me otherwise.

It doesn’t matter. Whether this is our first or our fifth natural conception – I don’t care.

We can actually do it.

IVF for us will remain a two-pronged process to a) get more embies, and b) hold onto the precious things. Clearly though, b) is starting to become the frontrunner to focus on. And, after nearly three years, that’s something.

Like I said, knock me down with a feather.

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What IVF Questions Do We Ask Our Doctor?‏


My incredibly inspirational view as I waited for my fourth negative Beta this morning.

Round’s over – we’re finito ladies and gents.

IVF Cycle 2.2 (2 x stim, 2 x FET – thank you Chon for your excellent numbering system!) is officially over with NO positive beta and NO frozen embryos.

I have to wean myself off the Predisolone* over a period of two weeks but the rest of the drugs stop now. I should be starting my period soon.

We have our grand ol’ mighty WTF appointment on the 9 August. For the first time, we’ll be sending through a list of questions ahead of us meeting with Dr D. And that’s where you come in.
Have you found there are some questions you’d wish you’d asked earlier?
Some you didn’t know you could ask at all?

Keeping in mind we have a watertight case of Unexplained Infertility and a very aggressive specialist, here is our Starter for Ten:

  •  Outline exactly how this stim round’s egg quality differed from our last stim round in Sept ’10. What factors could have affected the drop in quality?
  • Outline the quality of our embryos. There were three – one transferred at 3day, the other two didn’t survive to blasto stage
  • What quality of egg and embryo would you expect from someone of my age? Am I below or above average? Has this changed in the past ten months?
  • How did our first go at HA treatment go? Give us a rundown of Mr Bun’s sperm quality. Did the HA-ICSI help at all?
  • Are there any more tests you’d recommend? You said you treated me for NK cells without actually testing me for them. Is it worth testing me at all?
  • At what point would you recommend transferring multiple embryos?

And then, the biggie …

  • How many more rounds would you recommend before we consider other options?

I dunno. Some of them seem so damn simple. I don’t hold much hope for a magic bullet.

I feel so disheartened that it’s hard to get up any positive energy about another cycle.
But, when Mr Bun suggested we wait until October instead of September for round 3.2 I felt a little panicky. Months slip into years and 2012 will be our fourth year of trying for a baby. So maybe there is some positive hope in there somewhere.

Maybe one of these questions will be the secret to success for us. Maybe maybe shmaybe!?

x

*really, do you ever stop and wonder what these drugs are doing to our bodies? I shudder to think. A post for another time … ?