Kleenex anyone? (24w2d)

I can’t stop crying.

Not sweet n’ kooky ‘weeping at a sad puppy story on the 6pm news’ crying, but more ‘lying on the couch ugly-sobbing for no real reason’ crying.

It’s been a HUGE week at work. I’ve been clocking 12 hour days. The pattern this week was brutal: get up early to get into the office early, start work before the phone and email kick off, lunch at my desk, finish late, home, dinner, bed. That’s been me.

So yes, I recognise these crying jags are mostly linked to over-tiredness. I just feel so hopeless. It’s a stunning, postcard-perfect Summer’s day out there and all I’ve managed to do is eat some toast and do some internet banking. I am just so tired. Mr Bun has escaped, off to do some errands. So it’s just me and the Beast. Under the aircon, staring out at the blue sky, having our own little pity party.

Here is what I would like to be doing today:

  • Vacuuming and mopping the floors
  • Cleaning the bathroom
  • Folding the laundry
  • Going to get my toes done
  • Picking up toiletries at Priceline
  • Having lunch out somewhere, enjoying the kickass weather
  • Walking the dog
  • Being nice to my husband
  • Not crying

Here is what I am doing today:

  • Crying
  • Feeling guilty
  • Feeling sorry for myself
  • Repeat

The two lowlights of the week were bursting into tears in front of my boss when he asked me to pick up another project (on Friday afternoon), that was due on Monday. He ended up doing it himself.

The second, was being on the receiving end of the worst haircut I’ve ever had. They took off a good TEN CENTIMETERS more than I wanted. I am feeling like an enormous roly poly round person at the best of times, so a short cut right now has me looking like a lesbian trucker* from 1994. It’s so bad I can only tie it up for two months and wait for it to grow. Seriously. My hair was really the last part of me that still felt like ‘me’ and now it’s gone. Just thinking about it gets me going again.

OK. Deep breath. Time to see past the hormones and FWP’s and get over this.

The GOOD things about this week have been ‘turning’ six months pregnant!! It’s like we’ve passed a real milestone and I’m feeling the most positive and excited about the baby that I ever have. The bub is kicking more and more each day, and every punch, wiggle, turn and push fills me with this glowing, warm rush of happiness (mood swings, anyone?). While the pregnancy still seems to be going very slowly, I am starting to realise that May really isn’t that far away. I think because there’s so much to do between now and then – I am becoming more appreciative of the months and months us humans are given to gestate.

We are also about to get a whole lot of work done on the house, including a new kitchen. It’s going to be dusty and disruptive, but the thought of some significant improvements to the house we’ve been in for nearly two years is truly exciting. I mean, we’ve been living without a dishwasher for nine months**!

OK. I’m feeling a little better. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not ungrateful. By no means do I wish any of this to be any different. It’s just the ups and downs. It’s seriously more intense from an emotional perspective than I expected. But I’ll take it. I’ll take whatever I have to, as long as it means health and happiness at the end.

Have a great week, everybody.

* No offence to lesbian truckers. It’s just not my style.

**Another FWP


10 thoughts on “Kleenex anyone? (24w2d)

  1. Cry all you like love, sounds like it’s been a hectic week! Crying always makes me feel better- even if I’m not sure what I’m crying about!

    Sounds like your work is full on- I’m glad your boss took on the project for you, sounds like a bit of stretch, to ask someone on a Friday to have it done by the Monday.

    I had to laugh at the haircut – I have no idea what you look like, but the lesbian trucker has given me a lovely image that IO will have of you from now on! hahaha.

    Go outside and get yourself 10 minutes of good old Vitamin 10 – it will lift your spirits I’m sure 🙂

  2. Whew….I’m so glad the kleenex was about crying due to hormones. When I saw it, I thought something bad happened to bub. I’m sorry hormones have got you down and you got a stinky haircut, but YEAH for bubs kicking all the time. The good news is that when you’re pregnant, your hair generally grows faster =)

  3. Sounds like a crazy week. I’m sorry you are so upset. I have heard the hormones are killer. I know you are very upset about your hair, but remember it will grow out. It is not permanent. Maybe try another salon and maybe they can change up the style a bit and make it better? Something you can deal with while it grows out. Hugz!

  4. As a card carrying member of the Australian lesbian truckers union movement I take offence at the term lesbian being used to describe a 1980’s inflicted hairstyle.

    Ok jokes aside I totally get why it put you in a tail spin. Hello when our arses are bigger than our bellies our hair is all we have left (just quietly my skin, nails and hair are all disgusting, I am apparently not one of those pregnant girls that look Uh-Mazing. I fall in the category of DE-gusting)

    Work – you have to let them know enough is enough. It is great that you are still managing to get lots done but you shouldn’t have to take on additional responsibilities right now. it is too hard. Pregnancy isn’t as glamorous as we made out when we were infertile.

    As to the crying, for some weird reason I don’t seem to be afflicted with this unless it is a Brady Bunch episode or the Price.line sisterhood ads. gets me every time.

    I say sit on the couch and think about what you should be doing and then order hubby to do it. It’s ok to be tired. you are not superwoman, you are pregnant and right now it is taking everything out of you. Combined with work, just let the dust sit a bit. When you get some more energy have a clean.

    This has turned into a marathon response. thinking of you. xxxx

    • As a card carrying member of the Australian lesbian truckers union movement I take offence at the term lesbian being used to describe a 1980′s inflicted hairstyle.

      I just spit Diet Coke all over my computer!

  5. Pingback: Hello, Month Nine (36w0d) | the bunless oven

  6. Pingback: Hair Today … | the (once) bunless oven

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