Well knock me down …

A positive beta. A teeny, tiny, barely-positive beta. A beta that the nurse doesn’t sound happy for. A beta that wouldn’t even register on a HPT. Super low. Lower than Barry White with a head cold.

Like I said, knock me down …

My blood test was a Woody Allen-style comedy of errors this morning, but I finally managed it. And when I made the call at 2pm after sitting through the world’s. longest. meeting. receptionist Uber-Bitch told me about the positive.

‘It’s very low. Where are you in your cycle?’

‘… Um … I’m not sure’ (why do I always clam up like a stuttering student on the spot when they ask me that? They must think I’m a moron). Um … (counting on my fingers) day 35?’

She told me Dr D would call me back. And that she did, confirming it was indeed ‘very low’ –  lower than my last beta that ended in an early miscarriage. She’s told me I should start taking my Progesterone pessaries and Astrix again (‘just in case’), and go for another blood test on Monday. I’ll do as I’m told, but at the same time I’ve begun my normal PMS symptoms.

So, a positive beta that will drop and and fade away and that will be that.

BUT

We were on a natural cycle. Mr Bun’s sperm and my egg actually came together and fertilised. NATURALLY. Wow. I mean. Maybe this has happened before? I’ve been a week late for my period maybe four or five times in the past three years. And clearly I’ve never had a blood test to tell me otherwise.

It doesn’t matter. Whether this is our first or our fifth natural conception – I don’t care.

We can actually do it.

IVF for us will remain a two-pronged process to a) get more embies, and b) hold onto the precious things. Clearly though, b) is starting to become the frontrunner to focus on. And, after nearly three years, that’s something.

Like I said, knock me down with a feather.

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8 thoughts on “Well knock me down …

  1. What?! I don’t really know how to react to this exciting that your body seems to be getting o the right track but heartbreaking that it doesn’t seem to want to stick around this time. Although i am hoping you counted wrong / ovulated late and this is just very very early.

  2. Urban legend. I don’t know what to say. I want to be ridiculously happy that you did it but I am so scared that it ends up a chemical. Hopefully Dr D can do something to make it stick – permanently.

  3. I think this is fantastic news! Even if this ends in a chemical it means that things are gearing up and you have a great chance of success! Congrats!

  4. Thanks ladies. I started spotting last night, so think the Progesterone will just about hold off a full period until Monday afternoon.
    Now just need to get through the weekend without thinking about it (fat chance!) x

  5. Well, wow! I’d say this is way better than a hysteroscopy! 🙂 Fingers crossed for you. Good luck with that not thinking about it over the weekend.
    Oh, and I say that not knowing your cycle day off the top of your head just means that you’re not obsessing. Which is a good thing.

  6. Pingback: Blessed | the (once) bunless oven

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