Getting Lapped

The past week has been all about getting lapped.

Not one, not two, but FOUR couples have announced their second pregnancies. Two of these couples had their first well after we started trying for a bub.

Faaaark it hurts. Even though I’m on a two month break from the IVF train, which generally means I switch off from the acute ups and downs of infertility, it’s stuff like this that breaks through like some sort of fucked up dog whistle.


So, yeah. Second pregnancies. Rub it in, why don’t you? If we were one of those blissfully, ignorantly, fertile couples we too would probably be announcing a second pregnancy right about now. I always wanted to pop out two (three!?) in quick succession.


At thirty, I guess I should be expecting this more and more often now. It doesn’t stop the little stabbing pain it causes. An excellent bullseye, right in the middle of my heart.




17 thoughts on “Getting Lapped

  1. I totally know how you feel! Last year before our first loss I was the “first” of my circle to be preggo. Now half have popped one out and the other is expecting. I know it’s not SUPPOSED to be a competition, but darn it, it is! Urgh.

  2. OMG I hear you on that. One of my really close friends essentially went and got pregnant almost to the day I told her about our miscarriage. I met her for lunch a few days after and she said, “I think you might have guessed but I’m pregnant” she had her 2nd baby 6 weeks after our due date.

    • Woooah – that would have hurt. I live in fear of a close friend giving me ‘their news’ – which sounds so selfish, I know.
      I think when it happens, I’d prefer an email first to allow me to compose myself, and then to see them.

      At least she told you early. I think they worst is having news kept from you, in case of how ‘we’d react’ (like we’re crazy, wild infertiles).

  3. Ugh, sorry there have been so many lappers at once. 😦
    I have to laugh remembering a discussion with my husband right before we started trying about how closely we should space our children. Ha!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha…

  4. Oh, dear. I’m so sorry! That really, really, really sucks! I’ve definitely been there, and still am there. Can’t compete with WildLilies though … none of my friends have grandkids … yet.

    Hang in there. Find some chocolate. Drink some wine. Do something.

    I’d say it gets easier, but I don’t think it ever does. Even after IFers have a take-home baby, I think there is always a part of the IF left within us. It’s a cruel hand we were dealt.

  5. Yup. I’ve been lapped so many times – I’d like to say it stops hurting but it doesn’t particularly as most of my friends say (with the best will in the world) “Hopefully you’ll be pregnant by the time I give birth then we can have babies at the same time” – hmmm yeah, you said that last time.

  6. Oy vey. Four at once? My SIL (who is, btw, younger than me) will have her second kid less than two months after my 2nd wedding anniversary (of a wedding that she didn’t attend because she was too pregnant.) And she had the nerve, when announcing her 1st pregnancy, to say, I know we got pregnant realizing we’d probably miss your wedding, but my biological clock is ticking. She was 25. There was a positive message I was going to give you at the beginning of this, but now I am just annoyed. LOL. Hugs…xoxo

  7. I work with 4 pregnant women…2 of which said “hey, we are going to start trying….whoops, we are pregnant”


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