Today was our fourth What The Fuck appointment with Dr D. And this time, we went medieval on her ass.
OK. We didn’t go medieval at all. We went ADMINISTRATIVE. But that doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, does it?
As I mentioned earlier, we had pulled together a pretty comprehensive list of questions about our last failed round. And she responded! I mean, historically she’s been pretty distracted and almost disengaged during our appointments. But clearly we were now talking her language. I dunno – maybe we’re showing her that we mean business.
We even had a notepad and pen.
It doesn’t mean to say she whirled around and around shouting TA DA! while showering us with answers … not at all. It was still a frustratingly solution-less appointment. However, we did resolve some things (list time ladies) … with some surprises chucked in there for good measure. Skip the bullet points if you just want the headline …
- My egg quality dropped (duh), but that’s not monumental. In fact, it’s to be expected as egg quality can vary from month to month. Nothing external – Chinese herbs, booze, stress, whatever – would really change this, at least not for us. Not sure how I feel about this – feels a little weak. But the bottom line is, you’re still a good candidate for IVF
- She told us how ‘lucky’ we were in round 1.1, where we got three 5-day old embies. That really fucked me off. No-one, no-one told us that that was a good, or even great result at the time. It was our first ever IVF round, and we bumbled through none the wiser. If anyone had pulled us aside and said, ‘You know, this is a really good outcome’, then maybe we wouldn’t have been so damn gutted during round 2.2 (hereafter known as Round Epic Fail), where we got fewer embies, of much worse quality
- The only difference she’ll make next round is to my FSH dosage. During Round Epic Fail I had increased my dosage from 150 to 200, which clearly didn’t work. While my estrogen levels were high, they weren’t in the crazy-sky-high levels that muck around with emby quality. Nevertheless, it’s back to 150 I go
- The HA-ICSI treatment didn’t do squat. Mr Bun’s spermies are all fine, and she’s not recommending we fork out the extra $250 for it again. Mr Bun looked proud. It was subtle, but I noticed it
- OK. Get this. I HAVE NK CELLS. In July, just as we were beginning Round Epic Fail, she went back and had my old laparoscopy results reviewed. This is another thing that really annoyed me. She didn’t tell us! I mean, yes – granted – she was already treating me for NK Cells, treatment which clearly didn’t work. But still – don’t you think that should have warranted a phone call or something?
- We had a long discussion about the merits of transferring 3-day vs 5-day. Basically, she said that the scientists don’t think transferring 3-day (and certainly not freezing 3-day) is worth it. However she has had successes with both stages. So, next time she’s said we can freeze some 3-day embies if we wish. Again, I don’t know – it could mean a few rounds of FET for no result … but, it’s tempting, isn’t it. To skip a stim cycle or two?
- We asked the multiple-embryo question. This is one in particular that shows you how far I’ve come. Two years ago I would have laughed in your face (IN. YOUR. FACE.) at the prospect of me actually, willingly choosing twins. But now, bring it on. And she said yes! At the fifth/sixth round stage, she would allow it, even though I’m ‘only’ thirty. So, if we get to that point, we’ll be transferring two embies
- I asked if a hysteroscopy is a good idea. You know, to clean out the pipes a bit. She said it has been shown to cause a slight increase in successes the next month. I’ll be booking myself in for September (we have a bit of life stuff happening in September, so round 3.2 will be October)
So, yeah. Her overall attitude was a bit ‘Calm. The. Fuck. Down’.
It’s pretty patronising, to be told it’s ‘early days’ (it’s been three years, lady) and ‘it’s all about patience’ (… I’ll show you patience) and yes – she even rolled out that old chestnut, ‘It’s a numbers game’ (ARRRGRGRHHHHH!!!!!!!).
But the bottom line is: keep going. Hold each other tight, take a deep breath, and keep going.
(Image: thank you)