I leave for a week’s holiday in Bali tonight and my packing has largely consisted of my stressing and re-stressing about the small mountain of medication I will be taking with me. Of course, it’s my luck that this third round of IVF, after an extended break of six months, needs to begin smack bang in the middle of what is such a desperately needed holiday.
And Bali, of all places! I keep imagining how I’ll explain to the scary customs officials that this mini-pharmacy in my carry-on is all to do with my sad, empty uterus … melodramatic, moi?
Setting aside the shitful timing, I am looking forward to getting started again. This will be our third round since Aug-Oct last year. It’s been a long break – longer than both of us planned.
I was in such a bad state emotionally when the second round failed.
I remember falling into the house after a particularly wretched day, sobbing down the phone to Mum, barely having enough energy to close the front door behind me. It was time for a break, to give my brain back over to other things. And I think it’s been a good thing. I feel clearer, more focused, more positive … but I’m also crazy-hormone free, which as we all know won’t last.
Time off over Christmas was lovely, but Mr Bun has clearly been itching to get back on the IVF train since then (toot! toot!), and here we are.
It’s also our last FET with the one little embryo that’s been hanging around, just chillin’ (excuse the pun), waiting for us to get back on board. My previous FET was a natural cycle, and I started my period before I’d even had my blood test. So, this round will be overflowing with all sorts of oestrogen, progesterone and other fun things in between. I’ve no idea how they’ll make me feel. I don’t care, really – just want to make that uterus of mine so damn comfortable the little emby won’t ever want to leave.
Deep breath … and, off we go!